Previously Deleted

As I started to develop new ideas and open new doors, my blog has evolved. And in the process, I've deleted many posts; posts that I wish I could bring back to demonstrate my growth while acting as a reference to a certain point in my life.

Even though I can't magically bring them back, I can take what I do have and make a new post with that material. For example, on November 19th, 2010 (my mom's birthday) I wrote in a small notebook: "You're drifting away and I can feel it. You've left an incredible impression on me, thank you. You'll always be in my heart. Let your life's journey be joyous and safe. Goodnight & goodbye. J."

If you read my blog you know that just before Thanksgiving of 2010 Kristin told me she wanted space and wanted to live separately. But my heart knew better; my heart knew we were going to be over for good. December 5th we moved into separate places and December 11th we were over for good.

November 21st, two days after I wrote those brief sentences in my notebook, I opened up a word document and wrote as if what my gut was telling me was true (and it was, I just didn't know for certain). I wrote a blog post that included that document a long while back, but deleted it. What I didn't delete was that word document.

Here it is, copied and pasted.

"                                                                                            November 21st, 2010

Kristin,

I guess this means goodbye. Separation seemed to be the first step in moving forward in your life; forward without me. You want more than you expect you will get out of me: financially and emotionally.

You are an awesome person. I love you with all of my heart. You have been nothing but generous and caring and loving and I want you to know that those things haven’t gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

After all of the things we’ve talked about, I can understand your frustrations and I can understand why you think there is someone out there that is better for you. I would probably feel the same way if the situation were reversed.

We’ve had a lot of life together.  Those memories will live in me forever. I will never forget you.

I hope your journey leads you to all of the places that you desire to go and to see all of the places that you desire to see.

I hope you meet someone that makes you happy and who will satisfy all of your needs. I hope they have more in common, as well.

Live out your full potential.

Change the world.

But please don’t forget me. I hope there are things you will remember and cherish about me and I hope that those things will make you smile when you need them to the most.

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write, but I want you to find happiness. And I don’t think you’re truly happy with me.

You’re more of a free spirit than me. Just remember to be safe on your journey(s).

Life awaits.

I love you with all of my heart,


                  Jeromie A******** P****.

Song of the situation: “Almost Lover” – A Fine Frenzy"

I wanted to make this public again because it makes me feel better. And I don't really care what anyone else thinks. December 2010 - July 2011 was an emotional roller coaster ride for me and I always feel better when I can embrace that, let it out, and move forward.

I am truly grateful for everyone who's impacted my life. To those who aren't in my life, thank you. To those who are still in my life, thank you. Without your impact and influence, I wouldn't be who I am today.

I love you all.

Jeromie